Thing Three: Today, we went to the library to look at books with a partner, and my partner was Jon.
Terrible Mother: Okay.
Thing Three: And Jon found a book called "History of the Earth."
Terrible Mother: Sounds not terrible.
Thing Three: Well, except it was a book about Christianity.
Terrible Mother: Ohhh...
Thing Three: And Jon didn't know anything about it at all! So he kept saying things like, "Why are these two people wearing Hawaiian grass skirts?" and "Why is that snake in a tree?"
Terrible Mother: So what did you do?
Thing Three: I explained the whole story to him. Adam, Eve, the whole snake in a tree, and the apple thing.
Terrible Mother: You...you knew all that?
Thing Three: Yeah. It was on an episode of Futurama.
[later, while re-telling this story at the dinner table]
Thing One: Yeah, and wasn't it like Adam and Eve were naked because they didn't feel shame or something?
Terrible Mother: Yeah. And they didn't feel sexual desire either, since there was no need to procreate.
Thing Two: WHAT? THEY DIDN'T HAVE SEX?
Terrible Mother: No...
Thing Three [rolling her eyes]: Yeah, that happened. Good one, Bible. No sex with a bunch of naked people.