Terrible Mother

Whiskey Poet

Whiskey Poet was friend and companion to Friend One, Friend Two and Terrible Mother while all four completed the MFA. He's also a world-class moutain and rock climber, and has been all over the world climbing.

Way Too Bashful to be a Republican

Fort Awesome's now-ex-boyfriend. He took photos of the Things once with his excessively expensive camera, and so Terrible Mother has forgiven him the voting for Bush twice thing. Way Too Bashful to be a Republican is a filmmaker, and has made one excellent documentary and is working on a second.

Tragically Hip Single Mom

The first moniker for Fatally Hip Mrs. Friend Two, she was thus named "tragically hip" because of her affinity for knitting sushi roll toilet paper cozies, finding pristine Danskos at Goodwill, and because she dates a musician.

Tim-Tim

Tim-Tim entered the MFA a year after Terrible Mother. He and Terrible Mother initially bonded over the fact that he has a high-functioning autistic brother, and Terrible Mother has always felt safer telling Tim-Tim certain things about Thing Two than anyone else.

This One Guy

A local father and computer geek (in the best way) who Terrible Mother went on a few dates with. She still emails and talks with him occasionally. He also is the owner of the best head of hair ever.

The Sweet Boy

Terrible Mother's first boyfriend (and only thus far) after the separation. She now also refers to him by his proper name, "Jon."

And yes, she's aware that her children will need therapy because she dated someone with the same name as their father.

The Man

Terrible Mother's ex-husband and father of the Things, who she now refers to by his proper name "John."

Stoic Writer

Friend of Terrible Mother, Stoic Writer is in the MFA and writes a little Hemingway-esque. He also once babysat the Things and chased them around the house with a teddy bear saying, "Give me a hug!" Although he noted it wasn't nearly as creepy as it sounded once Terrible Mother returned from her outing.

Belgium

Belgium and Terrible Mother met in Atlanta and shared coffee and conversation at a local Starbuck's. Since then, they've become good friends, despite Belgium's Duchy envy.

Ike Turner

Terrible Mother's boss who, although female, channels the Great Domestic Abuser with some frequency, yelling at Terrible Mother, and then bringing her chocolates later in the day. This always reminds Terrible Mother of the myriad assemblies she attended in high school, all of which were designed to help her and her female peers avoid becoming a victim of domestic violence. Little did she know she'd be under the employment thumb of one.