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August 24, 2005



Dear Terrible Mother,

Your weekend sounds very food centric and thus very similar to my weekend, without the Tomato Nazis, the Man, the children, the swimming and the motherhood ennui. (Should that be hyphenated? If so I apologize.)

I also want to speak out clearly in support of heavily buttered toast. Without butter, toast is just dry hard bread. Butter MAKES toast. And the more the better, at least until the point where the oily butter coast the roof of your mouth with its thick oils and weird fats.

Also one final comment about your post.

My god, children sound exhausting! If I had children, I would need a caffeine IV drip.

Terrible Mother

I think my weekends are food centric because having three kids (with all kinds of whacked-out food allergies and preferences) means I'm constantly thinking "what can I feed them for breakfast...lunch...dinner...?" Also, since there are three of them, it ends up being this semi-big deal to, say, cook chicken kebabs and rice and grilled squash and to make sure the table is set and the cups are on the table and the water pitcher is out and no one is yelling and the food is still all warm and ready at the same time and everyone is washed up and they aren't fighting and OH MY GOD I am going to have a panic attack.

A caffeine IV sounds like heaven.

some guy

kari is insane, and toast should be only lightly buttered if at all. i'm a fan of fruit preserves (but then, i would be, wouldn't i?).


I don't nod knowingly. I'm sure of it. Completely, utterly sure. Goddammit, I'm nodding knowingly right now in the utter surety that I know I don't nod knowingly!

As for toast, my friends, butter both sides, and pre-empt all better butter wars except for those with butter-aversions. In which case, I'm in agreement with Kari (not that I know you, Kari, but this is blog-comment land and in blog-comment land you're automatically and instantly e-intimate) that for something to be "toast," butter must be involved. Otherwise, call it "dry, heated bread" and be done with it.

Terrible Mother

You all missed the most important thing: That the toast was not only buttered, it was salted! SALTED!

Clearly I have raised heathens.

Friend Two, You nod knowingly all the time. In fact, if the Inuit have 87 words for "snow," you have at least 40 ways of "nodding knowingly," ranging from the "Yes, I think you are absolutely right!" to "I am slightly bored, but will pretend not to be, at your expense," to "OH GOD! She's talking about her kids again. Quick, nod and maybe she'll stop."

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