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July 17, 2006


Pygmalion's Wife

Ohhhhh fuck I know EXACTLY what you mean and it suuuuuucks. I just moved into a new apartment and the rental office ladies kept saying how haaaard it must be, etc. Thank heavens I wasn't dealing with a private landlord. They kept saying I didn't have enough income, blah blah blah (and yet I pay my bills just fine and had my deposit in-hand)...finally my very excellent new boss lied and tacked the money I get OFF of care at the center onto my base salary in her letter of employment verification, and I got the place and it's lovely but oh, gawd. We are in a two-bedroom (the five-year-old and the two-year-old bunk together and the baby is in with me) and people keep asking me if I don't need another bedroom...? Eesh.

Alana Noel

HI Terrible Mother. I began composing a post here about five minutes ago but then, as if by magic, my post disappeared into cyberspace. It's always the long ones too!

Anyway, what I was saying is, I appreciated this post about discrimination against single moms. Yes, it exists. Not as joyfully cruel as say, discrimination against over-weight people, or as bitterly viscious as discrimination toward gay people. But it exists, and it's rather sneaky isn't it? Often disguised as concern, it's really nothing more than condescending sympathy.

That would-be landlord was a patronizing S.O.B. Too bad his mother didn't teach him any better.

I've discovered having been a single mom now nine years (the span of my son's life thus far) that the world generally expects us, single moms, to be a) charity cases and b) basket cases.

Introduce me to one person who isn't a basket case these days. I guess it depends on your interpretation of "basket case." Every one is stressed out; every one is broke (Except T f-ing Cruise and P f-ing Hilton)and every one has too much to do in too little time and joy falls to the way side as we all struggle to make ends meet.

Wouldn't it be nice if generous souls like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who give so selflessly to children in Africa, decided to give a little to the children in thier own country?

Gads! I suppose that's Nationalist or something. I don't want anyone to suffer or go hungry or experience no love. But what about all the Americans with no homes, no food, have Aids, have breast cancer or cervical cancer, have no money for college, have no access to sex education (real sex ed) or have no f-ing HEALTH INSURANCE.

What if Brad and Angelina decided to donate three million to ensuring Americans have health insurance? WOW!

I was on food stamps a while, the year after I finished graduate school. That was a tough year. Food stamps. No health insurance. Working forty hours a week as a writing teacher at a career college supposedly preparing underprivelaged adults for a financially independent future (ha!) and yes, I accepted food stamps graciously and with sincere gratitude during that time. Kellon finally qualified for the Oregon Health Plan. I did not. There are too many people on OHP because they can't get health insurance.

I had a lump in my breast once. And no health insurance. Turned out the lump was nothing to worry about. But what if it had been? When I was an undergrad, a mentor of mine told me a story about a single mom, thirty-six years old, a college instructor, who died from breast cancer because she didn't have health insurance, and so she didn't get yearly exams.

There are a lot of charity cases in this country. Most of us don't want to be either. Sure, some single moms suck the system or neglect thier children, etc. But not all of us! Sometimes, I get this uncomfortable feeling our culture isn't designed to be supportive of certain people. Or very tolerant either. And many Americans are inflicted with this awful ailment, which is "I want as much as possible for the smallest amount of effort."

Knowing you as I do, TM, you work really hard every day. You want what I want: To be a financially sufficient and emotionally healthy parent to your children. And you're doing such a great job. You're not afraid of hard work or sleepless nights.

This country should erect a monument in your honor---and make sure your children have health insurance.


Is there any recourse against this kind of action? Sorry to hear this...hope you can find another place to your liking that will enable you to keep the kids in that school.


umm, that's illegal!! Especially with that "Section 8" comment. If it is clear you are not going to get the place, I'd call the local HUD office. Fight the Man. And I mean that literally. You might not get the place, after all, but at least that dude will be fined or something.
Also, tell us about your new job. congrats!!


i don't know much, but this is one of the better-written pieces i've seen in a while.

there's something there.


Having been footnoted above, let me make a meta-blogish clarification:

I do fear for the health of those innocents, those dull and unlucky idiots who make the mistake of giving an ill-considered compliment to tm.

They are doomed to evisceration by well-turned phrase, and they know not what they do.

Although-- they do deserve what they get.


oy. that guy has some bad karma coming his way. not that karma seeks people out to shit on. no no. those people just walk under karma at the exact wrong time - right after she has her coffee.

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