Missives from the Mailbag

From Friend R, on the event of being asked what it would take for him to help me with a few things around the house:

That's a fine question because the question you're really asking is how much do I charge for my services as a man, and, to date, I've mostly performed my manly services free of charge.

From Friend One, on the occasion of her realizing I hadn't told her every detail about my life:

And let this serve as an example of why it's never good to keep pertinent information from me.

------

I have taken your advice and let myself relax a little bit...So I'm thinking I should be sending out to chapbook competitions.

From Friend Omega:

Wow. That program of yours really taught you how to use adjectives.

From Huckleberry:

I could be your hitman. No one ever suspects the guy in the wheelchair.

From Kari:

I was thinking we could go to New Orleans for Thanksgiving*.

From Tragically Hip Single Mom:

My daughter's in a snit because, get this, all the OTHER kids have dads and moms who are married and have fun together. (I find this highly dubious, just from my own informal recon. Who are these happily married moms & dads who have fun together?)

*tm

*apparently, Kari and I are going to start our Holiday Disaster Tour this year. For Christmas, we're thinking Beirut.

Comments

[Friend One]

ha! beirut! ha!

[Kari]

I just hope you've been practicing that keening wail the women use in the middle east.