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February 13, 2007


Tragically Hip Single Mother



Dear *tm,

I read this almost as soon as it was posted, (as I always do) and afterwards I found myself unsure of how to respond to such an elegant and vulnerable post. If I was there and we were the sort of friends you seem to have surrounded yourself with, I would commiserate, yell, listen, pray and generally be whatever support I could.

I too have been and "avoider", it gets to be a habit when we are surrounded by scary and suffocating circumstances. Now, my solution is to bring all this garbage too Christ in my prayer time and each time I find the strength to turn and face the situation.

I know we come at this from very different places and I certainly am not here to preach. I just felt that such an honest post deserved an honest response, not just blank space.

Thanks for offering your readers a chance to share the burden, even in such a small way as reading your work.

Lots of love.


I know exactly what you mean. There is never enough time, money, sleep, patience, good health, etc. Never. It sucks and then it sucks some more, and then it sucks even more and you maybe get perversely cheerful at that point, because you've hit rock bottom so hey, everything's gonna improve from here. And then it doesn't, and people still want their dinner and help doing things a child their age SHOULD be able to do, and you maybe lose it and yell at them or maybe you don't, and then you help them anyway and either deny them all a bedtime story because it's "too late" (shorthand for "Mommy has to go cry/drink/sleep/write angry letters to schools and health insurance companies/write on her stupid blog") or else feel horribly guilty and read them story after story after story, and sometimes it cheers you up and you feel better for a while and sometimes you just skip that part and go straight to bed so you can get up and do it again. I know exactly what you mean, and I wish I'd made more friends in grad school instead of scuttling out of class the minute it was over to go to work or give birth or something. I had a "moment" last night, one of those rare little bits where you forget that it doesn't help a daggone thing to kick and scream and curse at another human being (it wasn't a child, at least), and I know exactly what you mean about the time/resource jealousy, too. I'm sorry you're in the same boat, but I take great consolation in being in such good company :-)


I am just glad you, well, made it through.

You won't get an apology. What you should do is raise some hell.

Not much I can say here. This one's honest.



This one cut straight to the bone, TM.

Your situation is really screwed up. But I'm so glad you wrote about it. I'm really proud and amazed by you, because I know what a great person you are, how strong and resourceful and capable.

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