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March 08, 2007


Tragically Hip Single Mother

This termite walks into a bar. "Excuse me," the termite says, "where's the bar tender?"

Get it? Get it? Get it? "Where's the BAR TENDER?" Get it?

Fuck verse anyway. It's a dying art form. And if anybody e-mails me with the huffy assertion that poetry outsells fiction in Canada, I got nothing for you. I'm trying to comfort my friend, ovah heah!

Friend Omega

Fucking seriously, TM.

Stop dating people named after apostles!

Terrible Mother

I wasn't even dating! That's what's so stupid! I shouldn't even be pining!

Also, the poetry in Canada thing makes me think of all the big hair metal bands, the really terrible ones like Europe, who would say, "And we're HUGE in Belgium!"


And what's wrong with Belgium? Have you ever tasted our chocolates? Our lambic ales? (who needs poetry and iambics when you can have a lambic?) What about waffles-- surely that ought to count for something. If nothing else, admit that Beligum is a lot better than Luxembourg.

Terrible Mother

Belgium is so not better than Luxembourg. How could it even be close to better? No way. Not even.

Wacky Mommy

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead.

(That's my kids' favorite joke. Did it cheer you up? Date a software engineer, it'll work for you. Believe me.........)


Um, need I tell you that Luxembourg is a "Grand Duchy?" Belgium is a "Kingdom." Kingdoms trump "Grand Duchies," hands down.

So ask yourself, as i do every morning, "Wouldn't you rather be in Antwerp?"

And what the F#?* is a "Grand Duchy?" Doesn't that sound like something cooked up for some lame "Mouse that Roared" movie?

Terrible Mother

Yeah, but see, Luxembourg is the ONLY Grand Duchy, while you're just one of many kingdoms.

Now what, beyotch?


So if this Grand Duchy thing were soo cool, don't you think all the other nations of the world would be tripping over each other saying, "I wanna be a Grand Duchy too... Let me be a Grand Duchy too... Plu-eease."

But no. There's a reason that Luxembourg is the only Grand Duchy.. and the reason is, being a Grand Duchy sux


And for the record, no monkies ever fell out of a tree in Belgium. Dead or otherwise.

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