A few months ago, in the car, where all pertinent conversation in our family takes place, Thing One and Thing Two had this exchange:
"I would like to see Eight-Finger Jon again so I can play with his dog," said Thing Two.
"You can't call him Eight-Finger Jon anymore," said Thing One.
"Why not?"
"Because now he doesn't have eight fingers. He only has FIVE."
"So I can call him Five-Finger Jon?"
"Well, he has metal fingers now."
"I thought he had a hook."
"Mom," Thing One called up to the front seat, "does Jon have fingers or a hook?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe he has both."
"Well," said Thing Two, "we could call him 10-finger Jon if he has metal fingers."
"That's stupid," said Thing One. "Having 10 fingers is normal so why would you make a whole name out of it?"
"It is not normal to have 5 metal fingers and 5 normal fingers!"
"But no one can tell from the name it isn't normal."
This conversation lasted for approximately 7 more minutes, and resulted in much arguing, and no new nickname for Jon until I said "What about Bionic Jon?"
They loved this (a name Fort Awesome thought up a long time ago), with only Thing One adding "Well, I don't know how bionic he really is, but okay."
Somehow, I think Jon would have loved listening to this conversation.
*tm
No Colonel Steve Austin, then?
My genius is appreciated only by me.
Posted by: Friend Omega | May 18, 2007 at 07:03 PM
Such as it is.
And such as you are.
Posted by: badfreak | May 18, 2007 at 09:29 PM
What, you guys want an entry with all the nicknames you've given Jon in particular, and all the boys I've "dated" in general?
Because that could be arranged.
Posted by: Terrible Mother | May 19, 2007 at 02:35 PM
That's a particularly nasty threat, considering I can't remember every name I might have used. You could make up anything, attribute it to me, and I couldn't argue.
However, I do remember responding to someone whining about being lonely with, "Well, maybe the VA hospital's open late tonight. There's bound to be a fresh amputee or two there."
Posted by: badfreak | May 20, 2007 at 01:30 AM
Oh, snap.
Posted by: Tragically Hip Single Mother | May 20, 2007 at 04:09 PM
Oh, like it's soooo much worse than going bar hopping!
Posted by: Terrible Mother | May 22, 2007 at 10:07 AM
Actually, I'm calling you out.
Yeah. Yeah, I want to see that entry.
Posted by: Friend Omega | May 22, 2007 at 11:30 AM
Oh God. You would call me out, wouldn't you?
Posted by: Terrible Mother | May 23, 2007 at 08:18 AM
Oh, my! I think you are living what all of us moms struggle to put into words!
Posted by: BoggyWoggy | May 30, 2007 at 09:26 PM