Bad Religion

Thing Three: Today, we went to the library to look at books with a partner, and my partner was Jon.

Terrible Mother: Okay.

Thing Three: And Jon found a book called "History of the Earth."

Terrible Mother: Sounds not terrible.

Thing Three: Well, except it was a book about Christianity.

Terrible Mother: Ohhh...

Thing Three: And Jon didn't know anything about it at all! So he kept saying things like, "Why are these two people wearing Hawaiian grass skirts?" and "Why is that snake in a tree?"

Terrible Mother: So what did you do?

Thing Three: I explained the whole story to him. Adam, Eve, the whole snake in a tree, and the apple thing.

Terrible Mother: You...you knew all that?

Thing Three: Yeah. It was on an episode of Futurama.


[later, while re-telling this story at the dinner table]


Thing One: Yeah, and wasn't it like Adam and Eve were naked because they didn't feel shame or something?

Terrible Mother: Yeah. And they didn't feel sexual desire either, since there was no need to procreate.

Thing Two: WHAT? THEY DIDN'T HAVE SEX?

Terrible Mother: No...

Thing Three [rolling her eyes]: Yeah, that happened. Good one, Bible. No sex with a bunch of naked people.

*tm